A Little Understanding.

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=22 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="040a30d3.png"> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=145 BGCOLOR="#333399" TEXT="#080000" background="03fa2c00erkjzj.png"> <div> <A HREF="id157.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Submission In Marriage"><U>Submission In Marriage</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id150.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Shell Never Be The Same"><U>She'll Never Be The Same</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id147.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="In Love"><U>In Love</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id148.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Hired Hand"><U>The Hired Hand</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id142.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="33 Reasons NOT to Divorce"><U>33 Reasons NOT to Divorce</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id140.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Feeling Empty"><U>Feeling Empty</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id134.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Quotes Jokes To Make You Smile"><U>Quotes & Jokes To Make You Smile</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id132.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Marriage Poem"><U>A Marriage Poem</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id117.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bliss"><U>Bliss</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id111.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Not A Three Ringed Circus"><U>Not A Three Ringed Circus</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id92.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Carmens Story Part 5"><U>Carmen's Story - Part 5</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id94.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Some People"><U>Some People</U></A></div> <div> <B>A Little Understanding.</B></div> <div> <A HREF="id105.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Fresh Look"><U>A Fresh Look</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Shepherd"><U>My Shepherd</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hes Good This Week"><U>He's Good This Week</U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=458 BGCOLOR="#FFFBF0" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#993380" FACE="Paris" ><I>Zollywood</I></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#663399" FACE="Times New Roman" >  </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#663399" FACE="Verdana" >  </FONT> |    <B> </B><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#0000BF" FACE="Verdana" ><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Zollywood"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> back to  <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#0000BF" FACE="Verdana" ><A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Marriage"><U><B>Marriage</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <IMG SRC="04107040.png" border=0 width="263" height="4" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>A Little Understanding.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Separation and divorce is hard, it is said to be like a death. The beginning for me was overwhelming I was faced with so many conflicting emotions and situations. I knew the decision to separate was right for me I felt a clear direction from the Lord! I know for many this is difficult to understand) It is not an easy decision as many may think, it is agonising  especially with children. People often don't realise when you finally get to the separation stage it can be a build up of years, not an overnight decision.</div> <bR> <div> When our lives are painful we can protect and cover up so well that the people around us are shocked when the relationship ends. For me the relationship finally ending was a relief I felt a large weight lift off me, but this made me feel guilty. For the first time in years I felt OK but my children were now without their biological father. I knew in my heart that marrying that first time was totally against the will of God. The result was a terrible marriage and a shallow walk with a God I had turned my back on.</div> <bR> <div>  From the outside it often looks as though the parents hurt takes precedence over the welfare of their children but that's because we think that we would never do it like that. Every parent has a different story and I hope you understand that each persons way of coping is different too.</div> <bR> <div> I was facing life as a single mother. The steps that needed to be taken were extremely difficult. I was a partner in a business and the government would not allow me to have the single mothers pension for weeks and I had a new born baby. They thought I would still be getting an income. I had to explain my situation over and over to people on the other side of a counter. They have to stay neutral and almost suspicious as I sat their grieving and explaining with three children by my side. The government system is only part of what you have to cope with. The church is even harder.</div> <bR> <div> There is a  self righteousness that raises its ugly head when separation or divorce hits a family. There is a lack of compassion that will often  make the family involved seek help outside the church  and even feel pushed away. A hurting person needs love and acceptance whether we understand the situation or not. The wounds inflicted on separating or divorced men and women in the body of Christ is appalling. No one understands the extent of it until they are somehow affected.</div> <bR> <div> What I have learnt is that each person is on their life journey and just because we are Christians doesn't mean we won't make mistakes. The Lord speaks to all of us differently and He will lead us down our own unique path. The word also has many scriptures on marriage and divorce, which are encouraging and life giving. Love and compassion is like a healing balm to a wounded and misunderstood friend. Try to see through Gods eyes. Don't try to analyze and work it out and don't read them all the divorce scriptures ( they know them all by heart) speak with them in love and just listen</div> <bR> <div> Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8 <I> Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.</I></div> <bR> <div> © 2001 zollywood.com</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>